At no point should anyone think putting a cocktail party, a live concert, an elementary school carnival, a cirque de soleil performance, and a home run derby together would be a good idea. Yet, that’s what the Reading Phillies pulled off successfully on Tuesday night for the Eastern League All-Star Home Run Derby in the name of charity as the event benefited the United Way and their partners.

Take everything you thought you knew about home run derbies and throw it out the window. Deadspin called it “drug-induced” and a “fever dream of a competition”. Off the Bench thought it resembled the crazy rules of Calvinball, that wonderful game played by a little boy and his stuffed tiger. After seeing it in action, I’m more prone to compare it to the old MTV Rock N’ Jock softball games where there were mud wrestling rings and palm trees in the field of play.

It was all of those things and more.

Even the winner, Harrisburg’s own Chris Rahl, didn’t have a plan before stepping in the batter’s box, “I have no idea. I looked at the sheet and I looked at some of the scoring breakdown for some of the things. We pulled it up on YouTube and saw exactly what was going to be on the field.”

Rahl’s big hit during his two-minute round was a shot to dead center worth a whopping 100 points when it ricocheted off the crane sitting beyond the outfield wall. It was an advantage that no hitter after Rahl could repeat and it secured the victory for the Senators’ outfielder.